Dreaming is for the great. Everyone else is replaying anxiety filled pasts or trying to predict their future and driving themselves insane. If you find yourself dreaming, please run with it. It means you know there’s a loop hole or pipes that may lead you right there, and you just gotta keep dreaming it up, darling baby.
awinterkissx | mami lessons.
in a sea of everyone else she will always be someone else
Say if you love them, because a love not confessed is like, a poem not read, a kite not flown and goodness that’s withheld.
van-laurent-deactivated20200827:
It’s time to choose yourself first
“i am so loud when i threaten to leave. i will pace around the room stomping my feet and shout at everything. this is too much for me! why are you always like this?! why did you left me on read!! what took you so long? why did you ignore my text and went to sleep?! too many times i told you i’m exhausted and us is a tiring event that we both don’t want to participate anymore. then we made up. forehead on forehead. a pat on my back. apologies spilling out of the sink and we’re no longer sinking in rage. we would stay in embrace for hours. do you think we can do this? i don’t want to give you up like this. we’ll give it another chance. we hold hands while promising each other that we would do better. but when it’s really time for me to leave, silence suddenly creeped in. my footsteps didn’t make any sound when i walked through the door. i went through the living room of our conversations knowing that there’s nothing living there anymore except empty promises and the courage of an ending. all while you were at a party celebrating your best friend’s birthday. you came in and realized that i’m already gone. “things left unexplained will never be forgotten.” but what can i do if i’m already forgotten?”— three years and 11 months, E.
Do you remember eating too many chocolates because you liked them so much but you had to stop before the cavity ate away your tooth .
That’s what it feels like loving you. I have to stop before it eats away my heart.
So remember this, I left not because of the lack of love but because of the excess of it.
“I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant—you cannot control the depth of a wound another inflicts upon you. Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow will be a new day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary—because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will—eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.”